(Photo Credit: Gabriel Nhinda)
I sit here wondering but pondering really of what has become of the child. Bewildered as I reminisce of all the freedom and carefree spirited-ness that a child embodies. Have you ever just thought, I mean really honesty thought and analysed your thoughts of the boy/girl child you are?
I don't know, but there is something fragile about growing-up rich in fear, fear of failure, fear in success (whatever that even means!), fear in all things life. Somethings make no sense to me most times and I choose to ignore them. Why? you may ask! I see no reason why I should spend time wondering why I do not understand other peoples behavior at times, after all as a friend once put it "They don't care anyway". But back to my initial thought. There is something about the moonlight that simply takes me to a place of peace, a place where I could swear I was much younger and have no worries or none that I could care to worry about in that moment. As a child I was many things, but what I never was, was involved, in other peoples opinions of me that is. Then every so often technology catches up to me and I remember exactly where in time I am and more so, who I have become. Carefree in the moment, moonlight kissed as the pale dimmed light hits the dark ebony night darkness, crickets creek, a dog barks every so often, yet I ponderrr rrr. I wonder, does peace ever come to one once in a while, has life plateaued for most? Have I eaten lunch today? Then again the plethora of worries quickly rush the calm of night. Mmmaannn growing up aint easy, But, butttttttt; The journey is amazing.
Life is an Onyandi, I could swear it is, you grow up sheltered and nestled in the bust of your mothers kitchen ("hekupe okutya oye ngaa nyoko" - Oshikwanyama Proverb), well fed, protected but the camouflaged leafs until you ripen. As time passed by the umbilical cord that once held you on so tightly loosens or is it that the onyandi simply grows strong enough? idk the point is; it falls to the ground. The leafs that once sheltered you from predator birds et. al. wilting; green-olive-orange- brown- fallen! Under a false sense of bigness, know-it-all, self-riotousness and other me me me's you explore the world, only to have a goat eat you up, shit you out and now you are covered in Shit!!!! Home is the one place you wish to go back to. But, where is home in this Shit view to life you have? eventually the the rains come and in a storm you are caught, fertile soils engulf you, you feel a swell in your tummy and roots shortly begin to for, a beautiful shoot grows from your core, goats again! damn-it, shoot is gone again!. The second rains come and the shoot sprouts, leafs grow a lime green and the face of your father imprints on it, now you know! Then you remember all the talks given at the kitchen, and the process repeats;
"As time passed by the umbilical cord that once held you on so tightly loosens or is it that the onyandi simply grows strong enough? idk the point is; it falls to the ground. The leafs that once sheltered you from predator birds et. al. wilting; green-olive-orange- brown- fallen!"
The one thing we seem to neglect and see is that, leafs are part of a tree and just like we have roots, the tree from where this fruit fell still lives! The moonlight reminds me of that time, hehehehehe aahhh lekwata, oopps ovalumenhu ihaayolo eengandja!
I can stop being a Namib-desert horse now, roots await to be formed, and surely ...